Find your people.

[00:00:00] You are listening to the Daily Five, an experimental podcast by Aurooba, where I talk about something for five minutes. So let's get to it, shall we? I cannot overemphasize the power and value of having a few people around you that can see you and tell you objectively how you're doing. A few people who've seen you at your very best and your absolute worst and everything in between.

[00:00:42] These are the people who have a full picture of you who can see past the momentary blips and tell you if something is off or if something is great. I have five people like that in my life, and they've played key roles in making sure I knew when I royally screwed up, and also when I've felt at my worst and can't see past a momentary mistake or issue.

[00:01:13] The people who support you don't always understand the minute details of what you might be going through. For example, they may not be technical and may not understand the tiny little details of your career, which in my case happens a lot – but they don't have to. Regardless of the very specific details of your situation, many people have been where you are, whether that place is negative, positive, or something in between.

[00:01:47] And if you surround yourself and allow yourself to lean on the right kinds of people, people who can see you clearly, offer advice without judgment. It's one of the craziest best things you can do for your emotional and mental health. It can be hard to open yourself up like that, even if just to a few people.

[00:02:13] A lot of us, including me, for whatever reason or life experiences, have a history of building up walls and barriers and letting some people through – even people you love and trust a ton – can be pretty damn scary, and it's not always a walk in the park either. When those people you let in tell you about how you're messing up, it is not pretty and it is not fun.

[00:02:44] It's necessary. It's tough love. But if you can trust them to tell you when you've messed up. And then of course, even if you're mad, see in hindsight that they were totally right. Then you can also trust them when they tell you that you're being crazy and everything is fine. You can turn to them when you can't see things objectively because they'll tell you the truth.

[00:03:14] But for that to happen, you also need to prove to your people that you can be trusted with the truth. That you can take it and listen and accept when they tell you something hard and difficult. It's a two-way street. You have to trust them, but you also have to demonstrate that you can be trusted, when they do that thing, you ask them to be: you know, the people who are honest with you.

[00:03:43] It's a little bit like having your own personal council or advisory. You're the chairperson with a lot of power, of course. And ultimately you can decide who's on the board and whether to veto what they're saying, to listen or not to. But a good council of people can..counsel you, you can provide insights from angles you may not be able to see, both good and bad. And there's always so much significant value in that. So in the words of Paul Jarvis – if you know who he is – go find your rat people. Or if that reference doesn't make sense to you, just go find your people, your own personal advisory board. I promise it makes all the difference in the world sometimes.

[00:04:38] A lot of the time, actually.

[00:04:45] Thanks for listening. Talk to you tomorrow.