Don't break the chain

[00:00:00] **Aurooba Ahmed:** Well, hello! This is The Daily Five with Aurooba, that's me, where we reflect on creating our best lives a little bit every day. Here we go.

[00:00:15] Let's talk about the concept of not breaking the chain. I first read about this concept on Lifehacker way back in the day when Gina Trapani was still writing there. I really hope I didn't butcher her last name there. The technique is attributed to Jerry Seinfeld, but anyone who hears it will recognize it as something you encountered even back in elementary school.

[00:00:39] The idea is pretty basic. You decide on something to do, and you do it every day. Notice, it's very actionable, it's not just some nebulous goal. You mark it as done every single day, maybe on a big calendar with a red marker, you know? Yes, I did on January 1st, January 2nd, etc. And you strive to never break the chain of days you're doing that thing.

[00:01:02] I don't know what it is about streaks, but we as human beings love streaks. And when a streak gains momentum, not only is it easier to just keep going, it just, it feels wrong to break it, which then helps you keep it up as well.

[00:01:19] Probably the longest streak I ever had of doing anything was in Snapchat way back in the day. It made sense because, you know, Snapchat was really emphasizing streaks, and it made sense for them in terms of retention and usage. And one of my closest friends and I, we had a streak that was 360 days long, which means that every single day for 360 days, we had both sent each other at least one snap.

[00:01:48] The only reason that streak broke was because he ended up on the other side of the world for a little while and we miscalculated the time zones and missed a day. It was a very sad day.

[00:02:00] There are a couple interesting things to note about that streak. One, sometimes we would literally just send each other a selfie with the caption saying STREAK. So they weren't all super brilliant snapchats full of connection or anything. But they were selfies, and we did see each other's selfies. So even when we were miles away from each other, we had this connection. Seeing a picture of your friend every single day means that Yes, when I got a new shirt, he noticed, and when he looked a bit sad, I noticed, and sometimes that streak snap would trigger a conversation.

[00:02:37] The other interesting thing about it was when we broke that streak, even though it was accidental, it totally ruined our momentum. We tried a few more times to restart that streak, but seeing that streak number be so low after it had been so high was incredibly discouraging, and eventually We gave up because we kept having to restart.

[00:03:01] And I can honestly say that we are less close as a result of not having that streak. Even though we still remained close.

[00:03:13] There's another sort of additive idea around not breaking the chain. The idea that you can skip one day, but you can't skip two. This gives you a little bit of breathing room, and if you sometimes need a break, then the rules allow it.

[00:03:28] Essentially, the streak is alive, as long as you don't miss more than one day in a row. Back when, uh, I was trying to form the habit of journaling, I used a technique of not breaking the chain. And, I kid you not, it was like, one day I would write, and then one day I wouldn't, and then one day I would write, and then one day I wouldn't.

[00:03:49] One after another. So I didn't write every single day, but for over three months, I wrote every other day. Because I stuck hard and fast to the idea of not having two days in a row without having journaled. It wasn't perfect, but it was way more journaling than I would have done if I had let myself give up just because I missed one single day.

[00:04:14] So, what's the lesson here? I guess if things are feeling harder, don't give up. And tell yourself it's okay if you have an off day. You're just not allowed to have more than one off day in a row. I'm not sure why that little bit of ease helps, but at least for me, it helps tremendously. Thinking out loud, I think it'd be interesting to do a season of the Daily Five like that, but then it wouldn't be daily, so Anyway, don't break the chain.

[00:04:48] But if you have to, don't break it two days in a row.

[00:04:54] Thanks for listening. Same time tomorrow?