How to say no

[00:00:00] **Aurooba Ahmed:** Well, hello. This is The Daily Five with Aurooba. That's me. Where we reflect on creating our best lives a little bit every day. Here we go.

[00:00:15] So the way to focus on one thing is to say no to other things. Sometimes those other things are from other people, and sometimes those other things are from yourself. I feel like there is a lot out there about how to say no to other people. You can flat out say no, you can punt it to a different date. You can illustrate your other priorities and ask them what they think you should give up, etc, etc.

[00:00:39] But what about yourself? How do you say no to yourself? If you're anything like me, there are a million and one things you want to do at any given time. You look around yourself and you'll see, I could do this, and I could fix that, and I could change that, and I could update this, and I could probably make that a little bit better, and ooh, what about that?

[00:01:02] So, how do you begin to narrow it all down and focus on what really matters? Well, let me first reiterate the obvious. You need to recognize that time and energy are finite resources, and that by saying yes to one thing, you're inevitably saying no to another, even if you don't think you are. You may think you're limitless, but you're not.

[00:01:26] By saying yes to one task, you've said no to doing a higher caliber of work on perhaps another. Always, every time. You don't think it, but it's true anyway. You need to be aware of your limitations and give yourself permission to focus on what truly matters. As I have been reminded recently, I am a finite person, even if I sometimes forget that I am.

[00:01:55] How do we know what truly matters? Well, that's what we've been talking about implicitly and often explicitly this whole season, haven't we? A key component in learning how to say no to yourself is to understand your goals and your priorities. What are the things that you value most? What are the tasks or activities that will bring you closer to achieving your goals?

[00:02:18] Having a clear understanding of these makes it easier to say no to things that may distract you or take you off course. Well, theoretically anyway. Remember, it's not about denying yourself all opportunities or experiences, but it's Rather about making informed decisions that align with your goals and values.

[00:02:41] It's about choosing the things that will truly enrich your life and contribute to your own growth and well being. Practicing self discipline here is also crucial, which is so, so much easier said than done, I know. It's easy to give in to distractions or to go with what's comfortable, right? Go with what is the status quo.

[00:03:03] But you have to keep reminding yourself of what you are aiming for and why. You have to stay committed to your priorities and not let those momentary flights of desire and judgment cloud you and take your eye off the ball.

[00:03:22] And perhaps there's an element of kindness to be talked about here as well. You know, you have to be kind to yourself. Saying no doesn't mean you're being too something, too strict or mean or depriving yourself or your teammates of something. In fact, saying no is a form of self care and productivity that enables better everything. It means you're ensuring your time and energy are spent on things that truly matter and will have a real impact. Right? If you do a little bit of something and a little bit of something there and never really properly do a whole thing, you have no impact.

[00:04:08] So this is a reminder for me as much as it is for you, honestly. Next time you find yourself wanting to say yes when you should really say no, remember and embrace your limitations, understand and remind yourself of your priorities, and be kind to yourself. It's not always easy to say no. I'm hoping with practice it can help us do more even though on the surface of it, it may seem like we're doing less. It's not that I wanna focus on quality exclusively over quantity but rather quality balanced with quantity is a perhaps better way to think about it.

[00:04:54] Thanks for listening. Same time tomorrow?