Showing up when you don’t want to

Showing up when you don’t want to

[00:00:00] **Aurooba Ahmed:** Well, hello, this is the Daily five with Aurooba. That's me, where we reflect on creating our best lives a little bit every day. Here we go.

[00:00:15] I hope you're ready for another ridiculous episode because here it goes. I was lying in bed with my face in the pillow, and I mumbled to my spouse, what if I don't wanna do the podcast Today? I was tired, exhausted, and feeling more brain fried than ever. Also, I had a migraine, or correction, I have a migraine, and he said to me, but you do though, deep down, don't break the chain, remember?

[00:00:46] And I groaned as I sat up and said, I know, you're right. Then I stared at the wall in front of me, pretty much pouting sullenly. And then I got out of bed, trudged downstairs, scowled at my computer, sat down, opened up Notion where I take my notes, and did my reset routine.

[00:01:09] My reset routine is going to sound a little ridiculous, but it works for me. Think Rebecca's way to make herself feel taller and bigger in Ted Lasso, or Nick's disgusting habit of spitting in the mirror to make himself feel more confident. I have a few of them, depending on what I'm trying to settle into. For the daily five, especially when I am not feeling up to it, I'm looking for calm, relaxed, and purposeful.

[00:01:36] So, I relax my hands, close my eyes, breathe in deep as I raise my shoulders, and then as I breathe out, I relax my shoulders, straighten my spine, picture myself at the top of a hill looking out at the ocean, and then I open my eyes. Saying it out loud makes me feel a little ridiculous, but there we go.

[00:02:01] And yet, here's the thing I'm wondering. How did I get here? How did I get myself to stop lying in bed and come down and do this episode? If I'm totally honest, I have no idea. Why can I make myself do this, but I couldn't make myself spend 15 minutes walking today? What is the difference between the two?

[00:02:27] My reasons for both are sound, rooted in both logic and desire, backed by a system. And yet I failed to make myself do one, while I was relatively easily able to make myself do the other. I have only one theory, so far. Perhaps there's another one forming, but we'll go with one for now. Doing the Daily Five is a task filled with clarity.

[00:02:57] All the steps are known, and there is always a definitive end. If we were to consider the two things from a gamification lens, the Daily Five is a well defined level with a specific reward at the end, the continuation of the chain and the addition of a new episode. What is at the end of a 15 minute treadmill walk?

[00:03:20] The same wall I will stare at during the 15 minutes, even though I make it quite enjoyable. I listen to a fun book, etc, etc. And yet, I haven't walked on that treadmill this whole week. Which means I haven't listened to my light fun read for a whole week. Mmm, the reward isn't compelling enough, maybe.

[00:03:41] Or, I don't know, maybe sometimes you just can. And sometimes you just can't. It's something to ponder. It's another meta episode I know. Hopefully I will be less tired next week. And then, maybe we will have some more interesting episodes. You get a little. You lose a little. You give a little. And sometimes you just talk about why you couldn't do a thing that you are sitting here doing anyway.

[00:04:12] So, for now, let's close out this level.

[00:04:21] Thanks for listening. Same time tomorrow?