Following up on Stress Cycles

[00:00:00] Well, hello! This is The Daily Five with Aurooba, that's me, where we reflect on creating our best lives a little bit every day. Here we go!

[00:00:16] The episode on closing the stress cycle struck a chord with a lot of people. So far, it's the one that's generated the most conversation. And I wanted to follow up on it based on some of these conversations I've been having. Thank you, by the way, to those of you who listen, and to those of you who then also reach out to discuss or provide feedback on what you listen to. I appreciate you all immensely.

[00:00:43] In that episode, all the examples of closing the cycle I provided were calm. But in talking to a couple of you, I realized that 1. Not all methods of closing the cycle have to be calm and 2. One of the most common ways I close the stress cycle for myself is not calm at all.

[00:01:04] For some people, or for some situations, closing that stress cycle might be doing something intense and energetic. Perhaps it's to burn off excess energy, for example. One of the more interesting examples I heard from y'all was when a situation has been intense and, in order to operate effectively, you had to hold your emotions in constant check. Closing the stress cycle on that situation meant allowing yourself to express all that pent up emotion in some safe manner. Like, going to a wreck room to destroy some things, which I loved, by the way, as an example. Or taking off for a run that exhausts you, but also liberates you. These are all completely valid ways of closing the stress cycle.

[00:01:51] And you're really better off looking up stress cycles and listening to what Dr. Emily and Amelia Nagoski have to say. They're the experts who unlocked stress cycles for me in the first place. And I'm here to learn, share what I'm learning, and point you to resources on this topic. The other thing that came up is the question of how to close stress cycles in the workplace, especially in a team context.

[00:02:21] Quite honestly, I am still figuring this one out, and I don't have a clear cut answer. However, someone did share with me an example of a technique they've been using at work akin to this, so I thought I would share that with y'all as well. The story I was told was of completing a project that took a lot of resources and had a lot of setbacks.

[00:02:44] And when they finally finished the project, the members of that team instituted a one day ban on calls and new work. They took necessary meetings that were a regular part of their days, so essentially things that already felt safe. But other than that, for that one day, they spent it cleaning up things, focusing on organization, learning, and doing other productive but comparatively more relaxing or fun work.

[00:03:14] Now I don't think this would work for every situation or every team, but I can imagine the appeal of it after a particularly intense project for sure. The one that I'm starting to think about myself is coming together for a mini celebration after a project. This is different, by the way, from a project retrospective, because a retrospective, if new to you, or done in certain ways, can actually further trigger your stress responses instead of helping you actually close the loop.

[00:03:49] In fact, I think most retrospectives I've been a part of should really be seen as part of the project and not closing the loop at all. Retros can be stressful, even if everyone goes out of their way not to play the blame game. The other topic of conversation that came up a few times is time. In days that are already packed, how do you find time to close the stress cycle?

[00:04:16] My answer to this is that closing the stress cycle should be seen as essential and non negotiable. And if you see it that way, and understand that closing that loop makes you more effective at everything, then I'm willing to bet that you will find time for it, or be more motivated at least, to carve out time for it in some possible way.

[00:04:40] So, you know, consider it something really important in your day, in your situations. It'll help. I think. For sure. Thanks for listening. Same time tomorrow?